Wednesday, April 30, 2014
..... feeling out of sorts and uneasy.....
.... in a week that finds me really beginning to question some aspects of my medical journey. I really want to believe with all my being that the medical profession is there to support and help us along our cancer journey and to find the answers we need to survive.... the reality is.... they don't know everything and utlimately, they address just the illness itself and not the whole person who is comprised of mind, body and spirit.
I began to feel last November that somehow I could be pro-active and make a difference in my own healing. I started to look at naturopathic remedies and yesterday, I contacted a homeopathic healer. I will be starting a regime that will help the body to heal itself by providing the nutrients that the body may be lacking. For starters I cannot have any wheat, dairy products or sugars of any kind. This I should know as soon after I ingest any of these, I feel upset and out of sorts. Over Easter I had a handful of chocolate Easter eggs and suffered with a dull pain under my right ribcage... where the liver resides.... I have learned to pay attention to my body and how it feels with the foods and beverages I feed it. Food should energize you not make you want to lay down and go to sleep.
A good homeopathic healer is one who understands and supports the balance of homeopathic remedies and western medicine. The two need to work together in order to help the body. A good doctor should support the patient in their desire to improve their medical outcomes by understanding a healthy outcome needs to be a balance of what needs to be done and what the patient needs to do.
Often if a patient feels that they have some say or control in their medical health, they tend to feel better and have a more positive outcome. With all the research i have done and all the people I have spoken to, just following one path may ultimately run you into a dead end.
The past few weeks have left me considering what my life options are while my friend lays dying in a hospital bed. We were diagnosed within months of each other both times, only she is there and I am feeling guilty somehow? I tell myself that our paths were meant to cross but not to parallel each other. I consider and weigh out whether I would go on chemo again.... there is always a price to be paid for trying to extend your life by months or sometimes years. I would like to think that we can keep it controlled without having to spend every summer taking chemo. I hate chemo and the thought of having toxins washing through every single cell and making me feel horrible makes me cringe. Last summer I chose to take chemo because I couldn't breathe from the lesions pressing up against my heart and lungs. Within a few doses I could breathe and was able to work through the year... which happened to be one of the best years of my life despite how I was feeling physically. It brought new opportunities and a renewed belief that there was hope.
That being said.... I have taken much more responsibility for what goes into my 'temple' and each food is for healing.
My morning meal
I juice every morning and this morning I put in: spinache (2 generous handfuls), 2 apples, 1 handful of baby carrots (I prefer to use ones pulled out of the ground and washed off), Kale, 1 slice of lemon, and zested ginger. I place the juice into my AIM shaker with 2 tablespoons of Barley Plus. I will take two more drinks of Barley Plus on an empty stomach a few minutes before I eat using 2 tablespoons each time. It has been suggested that because my digestive track is not functioning correctly, that I eat a lot of fresh, lightly steamed vegetables, soups and other foods containing liquids. I have been told to also keep well hydrated to flush the body and to keep the kidneys and digestive track moving.
I will also be taking a regime of natural additives that are being shipped out this week. I will follow this regime to the letter and in 2 1/2 months, will compare that CT scan to the one I just had a few weeks ago. The neck lesion is easy to track as it is now laying conveniently on top of my clavicle. The dull ache under my rib cage is still there but not nearly as painful as it has been this past week.
Keeping as stress free as possible is key to maintaining a healthy attitude, mind and spirit. I have been too busy this past week trying to do too much and failing miserably once again at pacing myself. I however have found working in the local high school's greenhouse has brought me much joy. I will try to get there by Friday to see how well the misting system I set up is working. I will also be substituting for a few days and I am looking forward to that!!!
Our urban garden is a project that not only provides us with nutritional home grown local foods but also helps with the mind and spirit. I am a teacher. I am using this opportunity to teach my children and those around us to take responsibility for what we eat and how to cultivate our food. I am running a myriad of experiments to see what works and what does not.... and the fact is.... I am looking to the future and not dwelling on the present. I am continuing to live my life and enjoying what I do each and every day. I think we have all lost that in our modern world.... lost the ability to connect with nature and the very earth that helps to sustain our lives. We are becoming immune to the signals our bodies send us. We are distracted by too many things to just sit and listen to the birds singing out our window in the morning or to enjoy a cup of coffee in those quiet minutes when the world hasn't yet fully awakened and the natural sounds drowned in the noise of traffic. We stay up too late and get up too late or just in time to rush rush rush out the door and to our lives.... for some, they have jobs that give them no meaning and no passion for what they do. That is sad and a waste of a good life. Money.... well we sorted that out this year... took out a longer mortgage, rolled my car payments into it and decided that we had all the stuff we needed. We will save for a trip now and enjoy the life we have. It is so true that you cannot take it with you so why we accrue so much 'stuff' is beyond me. Use your money to bring happiness in creating an environment that brings you joy and peace. De-clutter your life and your home.
It has been raining and windy for days now and I love it. The seeds I planted on Will's birthday (Sunday April 27th) have had a wonderful long drink to help open up the hard outer coating and to awake the plants within. The plants in my garage greenhouse are growing wonderfully now that most of the tomatoes have met with an unfortunate demise which then prompted the purchase of the greenhouse grow light. What did not make it will be replaced with plants purchased through a local horticulturist garden.
There is much excitement with most of my neighbors about the new garden beds... some don't like it and they do not understand why we are doing this and that is perfectly OK. I catch the odd confused look and I find it funny that the neighbor with the plastic play house in the middle of his lawn gives me that sidelong look. It has become a meeting place for other neighbors and friends. I believe that gardens bring out the common element in many people who love anything that grows. Passing along hints and tips to help each other is always welcome!!! LIFE IS GOOD
Live Love and laugh!!! xoxoxo